Creepy Secrets That Flight Attendants And Pilots Would Never Tell You

Some people are afraid of what they know, rather than what they don’t know.

If you’re a frequent flyer, there are two approaches to this list of airline secrets you may or may not want to know:

1. Ignore it and carry on in your blissful ignorance of duct tape holding the wing of your aircraft together while flying.

Or 2. Read about the creepy things that happen on commercial flights, and go in armed with the knowledge of how awful the flight you’re on really is.

If You Use the Oxygen Bags for More Than 15 Minutes, You’re Gonna Have a Bad Time

The oxygen masks on planes only supply 15-20 minutes of oxygen. The theory is that the pilots will descend to a height of normal cabin pressurization as soon as an issue is noted.

Somebody Has Probably Changed a Diaper On Your Tray Table

Why bother going to the bathroom to remove your child’s sodden diaper when you could loose it on a small table that most people eat their food on?

If A Bomb Threat Occurs Over An Ocean, You Likely Won’t Hear About It

Since there’s nowhere to land a giant plane in the middle of an ocean, if a plane gets a bomb threat in the middle of a long haul, you’re unlikely (as a passenger) to hear about it.

Pilots Routinely Nod Off During Long Flights

While nap breaks are scheduled so one pilot can rest while the other commands a plane once it’s at cruising altitude, most pilots have involuntarily nodded off while in the cockpit.

The Emergency Door Handles Are There So Flight Attendants Aren’t Pushed Out

People go nutty whenever there’s a situation involving an emergency exit, and the poor flight attendants – who are trying to get you out safely – are often disregarded like limits on carry-on baggage, necessitating the plane’s version of “Oh Sh*t” bars.

Food Service On Night Flights Can Be Delayed Until More People Fall Asleep

Less work for the flight attendants.

Flight Attendants Are Using Their Cell Phones During the Flight

Apparently the small electronics you’re forbidden to use during the flight are really quite harmless, but if you could check your email on your phone, what’s going to compel you to pay for the $15 in-flight Internet?

Nobody Washes the Blankets or Pillows

Enjoy your scabies.

Planes Are Frequently Struck by Lightning

Better the plane than you.

Plane Water Is Disgusting And Possibly Poop-Filled

A test of tap waters from various airlines, performed by the Wall Street Journal in 2002, found bacteria levels in spigot water to be as much as 100x the allowed limit in the US.